Last night I agreed to a distant tantra experience. Someone wanted to try it out. I guess they had been training. I said yes.
It happened abruptly, and all of the energy was concentrated in my third eye. i was waiting to feel some pleasure but it wasn’t gonna happen that night.
i saw mountains and a woman with light skin and dark long curly hair. she had some piercings in her face. she was really cool. i feel like we were in the mountains in utah or maybe cali, or maybe even south america.
she was crouching down and wearing shorts and boots, something appropriate for hiking. i know i felt freer in the dream than in real life.
I also remember seeing cyclops. all over. my current lover, my ex lover, we had just gotten into a fight a few hours earlier. he said “good luck with everything.” i saw him with a third eye wide open. i also saw him fingering me and me crying saying “im sorry baby…”
i never cried with him during sex.
i felt like the energy poured in, and then stopped. it was kind of choppy.
i forgot to mention that at first i laughed. i thought it was going to be a pleasurable experience.
afterwards i felt tired, drained, vulnerable and like i just wanted to curl up in a ball and go to sleep. it wasn’t a particularly good feeling.
it seems that a lot of evil images were beginning to appear as well. i was ready for them, i accepted seeing them as part of some necessary cleansing or something like that.
I didn’t feel like talking after the experience. I know that all of that came from inside of me.
I woke up tired…needing huge doses of truth to get me to a place of balance.