Culture, Life, New York City, Personal Liberation, Relationships, Sex, Sprituality

Sex at the Sinks-The Hidden Sexuality of Touching a Stranger

For the longest time, I have been able to see sex in everything I do, sexual energy that is. Some people call it “having your mind in the gutter,” but I think there is something terribly wrong when a society associates sex in general with a place that is considered the bowels of the big city. Think about that. I have long thought I was sexy and exuded or oozed sensuality. The studying of various attitudes towards sex I’ve been doing lately has confirmed it: sexuality is apart of our everyday lives and is not just when we’re having intercourse. As a newly aspiring masseuse (among other things) and a receptionist at a hair salon who occasionally does shampoos (I like to think of them as high quality professional scalp massages by a woman gifted and talented with her hands), I wasn’t surprised to feel the familiar exchange of energy that goes on between two bodies when one is helping the other to relax and feel good. I hadn’t touched a stranger in that way in years,  with no re pore established prior to (even one night stands have that, and I haven’t done one of those in a while either).  I’m sure I had given random massages to fellow colleagues in the hotels overseas when we were overworked from flying, but that was a few years ago, and I had pretty much tried to forget many details from that flight attendant sham of a job. (Although by it’s sheer novelty I’m sure I’ll be forced to write about it sooner or later, down the last gritty fascinating detail.)

Touching someone in this way felt right and natural and I soon remembered the power I had to make someone feel better than they did before they met me. A man came into the salon and wanted a shampoo only. I was confused and said so out loud. “Basically he just want’s a scalp massage,” a stylist told me. I was on it. I wanted the tip. I knew I could swing this and it would be more than just a monetary exchange. This was an opportunity for me to practice my juju.

I hung up his jacket and dressed him in a robe. I told him to have a seat while he tied the ties of the robe around his waist and buttoned it closed at the top. He sat down and prepared to relax. I was in charge of his experience and I felt fully confident and capable. I was serene and peaceful so that energy transferred from my body to his. I walked behind him and placed a towel around his neck. Pressing the button on the chair to make it rise, I watched as his body levitated to a more supine position. I turned on the water and when it explodes from the hose it always sounds like a static-y radio or a crackly record. The woosh of the water as it runs over my hand and I test the temperature…”Is the water ok?” I say in a soothing, syrupy tone. “Oh yes it’s peeerfect,” he replies. After his hair is thoroughly wet, I turn the water off, reach behind me, and pump the shampoo bottle two times. The creamy ecru colored liquid forms a blob in the palm of my hand and I spread it all over the man’s hair. Now that it’s completely slathered in the shampoo, that’s when I begin my massage. I vigurously scrub his scalp using my fingertips and I make sure to go in a circular motion, touching every centimeter of his skin. As I feel the tension in his scalp releasing I feel a different type of tension in my body rise. And it’s funny, I can’t really describe it, I just know when I’m hitting the right spot. The signals are not always detectable, but later I found that someone else saw him tenting from across the room. I talked to him a little bit after hearing him moan once…he tells me “Oh, that feel’s so good. I’m getting such a good vibe from this place…It’s my first time.” I peered down the length of his body while my hands seemed to move all over his scalp without me thinking about it, and I wondered how I could have missed the slight bulge in his crotch.

I rinsed his hair of all of the soapy suds and I a thought occured to me that I really love working with the water element. It must be in my chart somewhere…(the person I would usually ask about this has drifted away from me, by choice, but I digress…). I reached behind me once more and pumped the conditioner from the bottle…twice. I smoothed it all over his hair and this time I went slowly in circles, making sure, as I had done during the washing, to massage behind his ears and  and the back of his head down to the top of his neck, where a ton of tension is stored. I made sure my fingertips slid all over his slippery scalp. I took my time, after all, there was no stylist with a full appointment book waiting on him, I had no one to rush me, and this was all he came for.  I felt fully responsible for his relaxation, and I wanted him to get all that he was paying me for. I knew the more comfortable I made him, that he would ask for me, look for me, seek me again, give me his money, which is another exchange of energy. This was magnetism fully at work.  I was devoting my talent for making people relax to this man for 10-15 minutes, and I took it very seriously.

After I rinsed him for the third and last time… I dried him off gently with the cottony warm towel, and silently pressed the button that made the chair upright again. He was telling me how relaxed he felt before his big meeting, and I felt like something of a mistress, prostitute, healer, and goddess. As I continue to delve into my femininity I’m beginning to realize there is no difference between any of them. He pressed $10 dollars into my hand and I felt like a million bucks…he asked for my name and his name was similar…he looked at me like I wasn’t real, with great appreciation. I wondered how much I could get for other types of massages. If I could make this man feel this great in such a short amount of time in front of everyone, I wonder how much more I could affect him in a private, intimate setting with candles, essential oils and meditative music?

This is the power of touch…this is the way we are having energetic exchanges with people we don’t even know. Now, the first time I had that same affect on a woman, I nearly recoiled at the thought that I had that much powerful over another creature who had the same type of magnetic power I have. I didn’t expect it, and it made me think about the Power….the power to make someone relax…it is truly something I’ll have to get used to if I’m going to be touching people skin to skin for a living. It’s something I’m considering…Wanna be my guinea pig? Hee hee hee…

I feel men who are not fully aware or cognizant of their power or sexuality may be fearful of their power to make a woman totally relax…more on that in another post about the mystery of femininity and attraction. Stay tuned in and turned on!

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9 thoughts on “Sex at the Sinks-The Hidden Sexuality of Touching a Stranger

  1. Tivon S. says:

    First, I must say that I apologize. You should e-mail or call me about what happened. I was too sensitive, but I tend to be that way towards women I really, really like. I’ve been hurt a lot, and it looks like the wounds haven’t healed. But I just wanna say that, and I hope we get to communicate with each other once again. I value you above a lot of women. About the male bonding, it’s kind of weird but normal at the same time, weird because for me, I’m not a very social person. A lot of males bond, but in different ways (I’m sure you know), but through the power of touch, for some reason it’s stronger. It feels like the “brotherhood” truly becomes established. That’s all I can say. I hope you and yours are doing well, especially after the super-storm.

    • The thing about brotherhood is very interesting indeed. Bonding through touch. I’ll have to ask more men about it. As for “what happened” there is nothing that happened really. I really don’t have the strength to continuously counteract the negative things someone has to say about themselves. It’s an uphill battle that I don’t want to climb or fight. I also don’t want to be valued above a lot of other women because I don’t feel that way about you, I think you should start with valuing yourself first. I’m not the one you need to be trying to please. Read my post “Tears for Fears” and you’ll see what I mean. Good or bad, you’ve got to start with where you are first. Don’t try to establish connections until you do…just IMHO.

  2. Tivon S. says:

    Hey Helese this is Tivon! I loved this article, just as any other ones on this very intriguing blog of yours. Anyway, I experienced this as well (on the receiving end) at a barber shop, however it was a guy. It didn’t feel sexual though, it felt like we were bonding….yeah I said it, BONDING. With a stranger!!! lol So I am familiar with the power of touch and it’s a power I haven’t felt by a female in a long time. There’s nothing like a woman’s touch. 🙂

    • Thanks, loved your comment and thanks for reading the blog. Expand more on the male bonding experience through touch. This is not often talked about in black male american communities.

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