I waited until everyone was asleep, and things were quiet. I had been waiting over two weeks to receive instructions as to how to go about the external things I needed to do to activate an internal change. I knew that something had happened, either now or in another life, that had caused me to fail to live up to my full potential, that of a Goddess or Queen. I thought that these blockages were something outside of me, but I am slowly learning that nothing good or bad ever is. I thought that I was going to remove an unknown curse from long ago or even now, but my Spirit would reveal to me that I was wrong. Tonight, I would cast out my own demons.
Fears have been following me all my life. They showed up in my dreams and in my waking life in the form of jobs that had always frustrated me and relationships that left me said and broken instead of empowered. Only recently, maybe last year, had I really begun to tap into the Essence that is God in Me. And tonight, as I prepared for my ritual I knew that after I wouldn’t be the same.
I took lemons, sea salt, bay leaves, essential oils and eggs. I had heard of eggs being extremely absorbant, and sea salt being a powerful remover of negative or lower energies. This is why people go to bathe in the Dead Sea, there are spiritual reasons for that as well as physiological.
I blew over the water as the instructions had shown. And although aware that the eggs were fragile and could not be broken or else the ritual would have to be done again because the negative energy would be released into the water again, I had no fear of that.
Little had I been realizing, my ENTIRE life, was that if I didn’t have to fear eggs breaking while I bathed in the dark, I didn’t have to worry about whether or not my food stamps would run out, or how I was going to attract the abundance that is my birthright.
I am done with public assistance by the way. I will never again be like the women in the park when I was topfree, fighting for my own oppression. It’s beneath me now because there truly is a better way.
The eggs kept making their way towards my womb. I thought that was interesting. Soon they became like little children to me, always floating back to the womb…the place of their origin. They wanted to be near there because they hadn’t finished their journey. Sad fate for them, but then again, all is well.
I had to move gingerly and delicately like a dancer in that water, so as not to break the eggs. I felt…Divine.
I felt protective of the eggs, taking them out of the water when I had to stand up to scrub my entire body, washing away old ideas and limiting beliefs that no longer served me, I placed them gently back in the tub, and when I stepped out to take a look at myself in the mirror and wonder how I’d look figure modeling naked and covered in soap, I had to place my toe ever so lightly back in that sacred water, so as not to step on the tiny compared to me eggs. Fragile, yet so strong.
After I rinsed, I was ready to be baptized. I did as the instructions said, and spoke the special word. It didn’t feel particularly different…until I just began to cry…a little fear came to me but quickly went away…and then Spirit said to me, “You remember the last time? You will have many baptisms.” I just kept crying and said “Thank you.”
I rinsed off in cool water once more just to get the salt water off of my hair and body.
I stepped out and said “It is finished.”
I really did feel light.
I wore white to bed.
Something has changed and I’ll never be the same. Then I heard a voice say “This is just the beginning. We have a lot of work to do.”
So, there it is…The Baptism.
I’ll sleep with the eggs in my room, whole, until I can leave the house without disturbing anyone to throw them away. I actually want to spend more time with them this way. They remind me of how gentle you must be with someone who is fragile, even if, especially if, they are carrying so much negative energy inside. It’s a lesson to be learned. I know I’ve been there. A thin shell can only take so much. And there are some things even John Mayer’s music can’t fix…
If you’d like to know more about the ritual, I can tell you where to go to get more info. It’s a great way to remove blockages so you can go on to live up to all you know you can be. And you don’t need the Army to do that. Be your own Savior. (Blasphemous? Only if you don’t believe that you come from God. All the separation is totally silly. I see that now.)