Dating, Friendship, Life, Relationships

Vulnerability=Love-Ability=Being Loveable Pt. 1 (Vulnerability)

What do Meryl Streep, Margaret Thatcher, Michelle Williams, and Marilyn Monroe all have in common?

They’re all power hungry baaddd bitches that inspired me to really open up my heart and pour every good and bad thing that was in it out. Well actually, since this blog is a real chronicle of my life, this post is just a continuation of the one of my previous posts, so I can’t give them all the credit. To add to that, in the past few weeks, I had some people, I guess I could call them friends, open up to me and kind of melt away that scar tissue that had formed on my soul from all that I had been through in the past, and the expectations that set me up for so much more dissapointment. So I definitely have them to thank as well.

In the past 2 years I have learned a lot about people being your mirror, attracting every situation that comes into my life, and how to get more of what I want out of life. I also revisited some old Rules in order to insure that I would weed out anyone who wasn’t absolutely serious about having a real relationship with me; real love.

Well you know what? FUCK the Rules!

Someone like me who is already hard to please, very traditional, and hard on the outside at times (but soft in the middle I assure you) doesn’t need The Rules! What I needed is this book, a book that really tells you how to let your ego go, and I always always must give props to my YouTube gurus out there, namely Abraham-Hicks. Even though my spiritual foundation started in Christianity, the teachings of Jesus, and the wisdom of the Bible, I, like the Universe, am always expanding.

Now I can honestly say that I have used the truths that I’ve learned from friends, admirers, and former friends with no benefits, wisdom seekers, Facebookers, my sisters, and my parents (who’ve been married for over 30 years and are still so cute together) to confront myself and realized that I was being my own worst enemy when it came to the thing I wanted most: Love.

All of the women  in my real life and the women who starred in two particular movies are now special to me (well, Marilyn Monroe has been special to me ever since high school, watching E! True Hollywood Story and I’ve channeling a bit of her and Dorothy Dandridge every once in  a while, ever since.) because in Meryl Streep’s performance in The Iron Lady, her portrayal of Margeret Thatcher in her prime was moving, fiery, and made me want to run the world. Michelle Williams in My Week with Marilyn was all consuming and all to true to all I had previously thought I knew about the superstar, and both actresses were heartbreaking. What made it so was their vulnerabilty, as actresses and that carried over into the characters they played. They gave it all up because they had nothing to lose, and it made you want to love them. (More so with Marilyn because she’s hot, but watching Meryl Streep looking that age did make me want to call my grandmother.)

Tonight was just broken hearts all over the place. After seeing these two movies (of course I “snuck in” to watch the 2nd one) I walked into the men’s bathroom like it meant nothing, and then I went to a bar, had a glass of plum wine and cried my eyes out. But I also reached out. I called someone whom I hadn’t been very nice to recently and told them they could call me any tiime if they needed to talk. They were going through a rough time, so they were very appreciative. So was I. Just to know that I could be there for someone and refrain from making it about me, that felt good. But if doing good didn’t feel good, none of us would do it, so we’re all just selfish bastards anyway, or at least we should be. But I digress. I also gave it all up, broke every rule in the book, and I called my ex…

And it was the best rule I ever broke in my life, because I got to express myself, and hear several words of love that I had not heard in years. It felt good to be cared about, to be told I’ll always have a place in someone’s heart. Besides, years ago I bought a pin that had a quote “Well behaved women rarely make history.” Apparently it was the words of the late Marilyn Monroe. And I don’t just want to make history, in my little world, I already have.

From my Facebook Album "Sometimes Pain Can Be Beautiful."

Stay tuned for Part 2…(Working on the Love-Ability part LOL…)

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3 thoughts on “Vulnerability=Love-Ability=Being Loveable Pt. 1 (Vulnerability)

  1. Pingback: Vulnerability=Love-Ability=Being Loveable Pt. 2 « Helese TALKS!

  2. Last night, I thought of the need to blast or even curse out one particular man I thought of because at the time, I got distracted and didn’t. But these and other energies do not disappear….and then I woke up this morning and read this blog post which reinforced those feelings. It reminded me of the importance of being the WILD WOMAN I know I am! Thanks! 🙂

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